Depression should not kill you or your marriage!
If you are thinking how to keep your marriage when your husband has depression, you are not alone. Have you ever felt emotionally paralyzing the effect of depression? You found yourself in a black hole and wondered how you could crawl out? You suffer in silence alone, unable to open with your partner about your pain
Untreated symptoms of depression – whether you or your spouse who is depressed – is dangerous to you and your marriage. But this is not necessary.
Understanding how to deal with depression in marriage is crucial to your health, as well as your relationships.
What is depression? The National Institute of Mental Health identifies it as a "mood disorder that causes anxiety symptoms that affect how you feel, think and treat your daily activities, such as sleep, food or work." in the black hole of hopelessness. And this is not uncommon for partners who are turning against each other because they do not understand what is happening
Depression often feels lonely and not supported. Their depressed mood can leave the partner feeling a loot of life. A partner who does not understand the signs of depression may be disappointed or angry when depression expresses its feelings. Loss of energy caused by depression may look like laziness. Negative emotions may be exaggerated. It may be difficult to understand or have patience with the feelings of a depressed partner.
Emotions make no sense.
You can tell your partner that their emotions do not make sense. The fact that life in both of you is not so difficult. You can start to tell yourself that your partner is just lazy and needs to be folded and combined. Disillusion with your partner to fight negative thoughts and sad emotions can make depression worse.
In a good marriage it is important to deal with depression, both individually and together. Individually, each of you has a role in refusing to depression. And there is a way to work together to prevent depression from destroying the love that you have with one another.
So where to start? There are several practical ways in which you can work individually or together to prevent depression from breaking your relationship from one another.
Here are 8 ways to fight depression in a marriage when you have a depressed man.
1. Find out the causes of depression
Depression has many causes. This is the most common mental health disorder. About 6.7% of Americans report having at least one episode of depression. In women, depression is twice as likely as men
your partner may have a genetic predisposition to depression. It was also found that stress triggers depression. An unsettled sorrow can cause depression. Hormonal changes caused by pregnancy can cause depression. Thyroid problems and other types of physical problems can cause depression. Different medications, such as birth control pills, can cause depression.
You are not bad.
Depression – a turn of internal disorder. It is often angry and painfully stored inside and often directed back to oneself. As a depressed person, you may have a lot of shame that you feel as bad as you seem to be without reason. This can make it harder for you to discover how badly you feel things that will not disturb others.
As you can see, there are many parts of the puzzle for depression that need to be understood. Studying these causes with the help of a doctor can help you and your relationship.
Couples who are successfully guided in the violent waters of depression learn how to not make each other a problem. Reminding a partner that you understand and do not blame him or her for suppression may be very helpful.
The National Institutes of Health can be a good place to start studying depression
2. Get Individual and / or Couple Therapy
Finding an individual therapist who has experience in treating depression is a big first step. Make sure you are interviewing the therapists. You want to make sure that it feels good. Good therapeutic relationships are key to your treatment. It is often difficult to get out of depression without professional assistance. A trained therapist can help you determine the best ones. Your therapist may also give you the encouragement that you need to make social contacts and not isolate yourself.
When do you get professional help?
If your relationship breaks down, you should get help from a GP. They will help you learn how to deal with depression in a marriage. A simulator of emotionally oriented couples can help you talk to each other in order to avoid negative cycle arguments, reconnect trauma and deepen relationships with affection. They are biologically connected to address each other for emotional support when they are struggling. That is why depression can affect relationships.
A negative view of depression at all can cause fear for a partner. Fear can be expressed in the form of judgments or harsh corrections. And, of course, this will worsen the feeling of depression.
Couple therapy can help the spouse avoid the game of guilt. It will help them work together to overcome depression, which can destroy the intimacy and functionality of relationships. You need to learn to support rather than judge depression.
3. Find out how to support – not judge – yourself or your depressed partner
Your depressed partner deeply needs your condolences, not your judgment. They step into the water, trying to stay strong enough not to flood.
When a depression snatches for you, you will need your partner to be a safe person, someone who can sympathetically support you to find the way out of the darkness of mood you are trying to escape. Often difficult to open
Depression makes you fear that you are inadequate in your relationship. When you risk sharing with your partner, it's terrible to hear that you are not enough. The conclusion of your partner is how to pour gasoline into the fire of your depression.
The last thing that needs depression is a sense of judgment or reprimand for a person he or she most loves. This can make depression worse and may break your relationship.
Depression can pull you both down. There is no doubt that depression is difficult for both of you and can drag the relationship down. You will need to motivate your partner, rather than judging that this did not happen. Your partner must know what you believe in yourself and what is the way out of the dark days.
When you realize that this is depression, not laziness or lack of intentions, it will be easier to judge the life of your partner. Understanding the basics of why people fall into depression can help you be more favorable and less justifiable.
Remembering how to deal with depression in marriage is a process that will require time, patience and understanding
4. Avoid a spiral of shame with complacency and love of kindness
Shame is a feeling of defect or lack of benevolence to be loved by others. Depression, of course, can feed the human inclination to live in shame. Each of us is struggling with something. Fighting depression does not make you smaller or worse than anyone else.
Meditation of self-esteem is one of the best ways to overcome shame. And this is an important element of knowledge of how to deal with depression in a marriage.
Spending at least 15 minutes every day doing meditation for pride, was found to be a useful way to avoid a spiral of shame.
For those who live with a depressive partner, it may be helpful to spend 15 minutes a day practicing the meditation of loving kindness
5. Take antidepressants if they are recommended
Knowing how to deal with depression in marriage, understand your options for treatment. The therapist may recommend that you contact a psychiatrist to evaluate antidepressants
There are many different types of depression. In most cases, moderate and severe depression will change the chemistry of your body. Sleepiness, appetite, energy, concentration, and memory problems are caused by biological changes that make depression. . Most studies show that psychotherapy and medication are the most powerful form of treatment for moderate to severe depression. Are you afraid to take medicine for depression? There are many people.
One of the biggest disinformation concerns about taking antidepressants is the fear that they cause addiction. Antidepressants do not get addicted . They do not make you tall. They will help you feel less suppressed, restoring the normal balance of neurotransmitters.
Some people need to stay on antidepressants for a long period of time to maintain their neurotransmitter balance. Your psychiatrist will help you understand what antidepressant you need and how long you need to take it.
6. Understand each other
Knowing how to deal with depression in a marriage, understand what your partner feels like. Healthy relationships require emotional contact. This can be even more important at a time when it feels that depression has an advantage. When the dark cloud of depression hangs, it will take a bit of extra sympathy to stay in touch.
This does not mean that the world stops rolling until depression is lifted. This means that it is important for you and your partner to set what happens to another. When you stay with each other, you will be more able to endure any storm.
You will understand well when you know when it is closer and when to give space. With great settings, you'll learn how to dance along with the depression. You will understand what is needed for others. It is important to understand the difference between how to give the partner the space they need and go to the exit.
Learning to stay in touch even when you are physically separated is a place where magic is located.
7. Learn to confirm each other's feelings
Ability to understand each other is one thing. But this does not stop there. Each of you will have to "give value" to each other's feelings. It can be difficult when you and your partner feel two different things. Her deep sadness and fear of rejection may seem completely foolish for you. You have done nothing to contribute to this. It can leave you feeling angry. Yes, sometimes they will have to. Is your partner feeling more important than yours? Absolutely not. What we feel is real or rational or not.
My wife is afraid of birds. Seriously, "get into the deck and take shelter" are afraid. It really seems a bit irrational to me. But sharing research about the unlikelity of being killed by a bird will probably not be useful during her fear, I can help her to get through this moment by protecting her from the storm. And I will share the research, gradually, when it again finds itself on solid ground.
8 Always enjoy beautiful days
Positive experience can make you more resistant to depression. So absolutely enjoy the good days. Build your stability to avoid you. Mayo Clinic's Officers suggest doing something that gives you a sense of purpose every day. It may sound rigid, but give it the best shot. Try to set goals that will help you look to the future to a large extent.
And when you have a good day, do your best to save each other at the moment. Tomorrow will come soon enough. Hope this is another great day.
I do not want to minimize the challenge of depression. Learning to deal with depression in a marriage in order not to break you, is going to take you two. This is a difficult task, but it is quite real.
A strong emotional bond is the foundation on which you have to build. And with what's in place and with the right help, you can and will learn to navigate in these waters.
] Michael W. Reger, Ph.D. is a highly skilled and experienced clinical psychologist and certified emotionally-oriented paediatrician in Visalia and San Luis Obispo, California. It helps people and married to focus on depression in the context of relationships.
This article was originally posted to michaelregier.com. Reprinted with permission of the author.